Authenticity

Edward Deci is a tireless researcher from the University of Rochester.  For years, he has been studying psychology from a different angle - that pursuing external or "extrinsic" goals will lead to lower psychological well-being.  He and his colleagues have produced a whole host of research on their Self-Determination website.

I have been giving this subject considerable thought lately, mostly from the perspective of authentic choices.  By this I mean a person is making a choice because they authentically want to pursue an activity, versus doing something because they feel controlled or pressured.

Of course, we all have to do things we might not want to do: take out the trash, pay the bills, etc., but there is always some degree of choice underlying any behavior.  For example, is buying that new SUV really an authentic choice, or is it just keeping up with the Joneses?  For some, maybe it is - they get great pleasure and utility out of using their new car.  For others, they may feel compelled to buy one so that their car doesn't look so bad in the parking lot at the soccer game.

Many behaviors are due to past choices that may no longer be valid.  It's so easy to just follow along with choices made long ago, rather than taking a fresh look at a situation and renewing the choice or not.  For example, I think a couple renewing their wedding vows is a great idea.  It shows that while a couple said, "I do" many years ago, they still feel that way today - and not out of guilt or habit. 

In one of Deci's papers, he concludes by saying, "people for whom it is highly important to amass wealth, present an attractive image, and become popular or famous tend to report ill-being, including greater anxiety, depression, narcissim, psychosomatic symptoms, conduct disorder, and high-risk behaviors, as well as poorer self-actualization, self-esteem, vitality, and social functioning."  Certainly, not all psychologists would agree to this statement, but there is a substantial amount of research behind it.

At the heart of these potentially damaging behaviors is approval from others.  No one wants to be continually disapproved of, but too much chasing of approval can lead to trouble.  Fame, popularity, and social standing are all a bit of a gamble - their success or failure largely lies in the hands of others.  Life is short, and it doesn't make sense to put too many of your eggs in other people's baskets.  Focusing on authentic interests and relating to those who truly care about you seems like a much better choice.